New invention idea: vibrating tampons
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
