I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
