I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
