Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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