All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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