ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
