he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
