the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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