Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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