David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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