Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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