Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
