Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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