i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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