he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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