Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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