I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
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