Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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