What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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