The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
