No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
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You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
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The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
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