I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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