i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
