is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize