when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
oh god the rape fog is back!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
