I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
