Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize