Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.