last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.