what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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