I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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