your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
