You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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