i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
