have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Are we still banned from the library?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
