matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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