I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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