i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
