you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
