I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
