Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize