I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
