I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
