Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
