I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
