Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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