It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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