apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I understand Curling. That high.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
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In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
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She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Im part way to drunk.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize