all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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