How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
