YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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