Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
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I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
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Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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