I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
