well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
