At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
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My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
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I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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