Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
