He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
