she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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