I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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