we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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