This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
