Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
