btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
