dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
