also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
