Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
