My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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