I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just want to make out with him forever
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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