yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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