Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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