i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
