I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
