your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
